Prioritising yourself without feeling guilty

What is the biggest reason we find ourselves confused about so many key decisions in our lives? I’d say it happens because we don’t prioritise ourselves enough and get stuck in others’ opinion of ourselves.

Good morning peeps. Another week gone by and not being able to put my writing schedule in motion. Phew. It’s okay, it’s okay it’s okay. I will. Also, today is papa’s birthday. And I baked a cake for him for the first time in my life! Wishing him a very happy birthday and lots of love.

Let’s talk about this. Prioritising yourself. Why is it important?

Simply put, it is important to prioritise yourself, think for yourself, because if you don’t, then who else will? 

Who will think about what you want from your life? Who will think about what makes you happy in your life?

Who will get you out of your struggles in life? Who will tell you that your struggles are important and you must keep fighting? 

Only you can. Because others are busy thinking about themselves, and their problems.

Are you in a relationship which always feels like it is only about the other person? Prioritise yourself and get out of it.

In your 24 hour day, how much time would you say you’re spending on you, for you? This does NOT include the office work time that you put in to further your career. This does not include the time you spend with friends and family to strengthen your relationships. 

Take time out to understand your goals in life. And spend time on them. Take time out to enjoy yourself and do things that make you happy. Take time out to pamper yourself. Everyday.

I’d recently asked a friend. If you were to look at the last 30 days of your life, how many days out of 30 would you say you were happy? Her answer. FIVE.

Five days out of 30. I was expecting somewhere around 15/20. Is this the life we’re creating for ourselves? Do we realise that our lives are passing by and we’re not spending time on enough things that make us happy?

Talk to yourself, and understand what makes you happy. Then make time for it. 

Everybody should have a budget of some self-care time in a day. And it should not be taken up by anything else. It could reduce or increase based on your needs for the day. But it should not go away.

So many people don’t practice self-care because they don’t know how to. Let me give you a few ideas.

Been wanting to get back to reading books for a while? Start today. Read for only half an hour everyday. Like to listen to Bollywood music and dance to it? Keep a safe playlist ready at all times to get to, for days when you won’t be able to decide what to play. Love spending time with somebody? Make time for them. 

Take a morning or evening walk by yourself. Watch netflix (without feeling guilty). Go for a drive with music on. Cook your favourite dishes. Write poetry. Listen to poetry. Do little things for grooming yourself. Just sit in your balcony for half an hour sipping on chai. Watch standup comedy. Have ice cream. Just take a breaaak and breathe. 

All these things seem insignificant but let me assure their impact is not. 

Alongside chasing all your professional and personal goals in life, also chase happiness, everyday. And happiness doesn’t come by constantly prioritising other people’s needs over yours. 

I’ll say this as many times as I can. It’s okay to think for yourself. Your happiness is important. Your goals are important. Your life is important. If you don’t give them the importance and care and time they deserve, nobody else will. Don’t get lost in the rut of life. Create your happiness. Prioritise yourself, and stop feeling guilty about it. 

Jai Jinendra.